Sunday, July 31, 2005

Mojomentum Explained

I am often compelled to explain myself, it is an unfortunate habit of the terminally insecure, scientific, and psychopathic people of this world. While it is annoying to constantly justify myself, I take great comfort in knowing that I share the company of such people as Woody Allen, Albert Einstein, and the President of the United States. I’ll leave it to you to determine who, out of this bunch, is insecure, scientific or psychopathic.

I would like to start by explaining the name of my blog – “Mojomentum”. Mojo of course is that nebulous word first used by bluesmen to describe a man’s strange combination of courage, charisma, and sexuality, or, as my Jewish grandmother Evelyn liked to call it - Chutzpah.

The word Mojo has long become trite and over used. Nevertheless, I have remained fascinated by Mojo, more specifically, by my own mojo and it’s seemly endless ability to ebb and flow over the years, days, even minutes of my life. Get a good haircut - mojo rising, late on the come back - Mojo falling.

Mojo, of course, affects much more than one’s ability to score the ladies. Mojo touches many aspects of your life, important things, like the ability to talk yourself out of a parking ticket or get yourself into an exclusive club or even get up-graded to business class without wasting valuable air miles. I would go as far to say that mojo is the sole indicator of one’s success and, more importantly, pleasure in life be it professional, sexual, or spiritual. Mojo, when it’s flowing, is a great big swing of momentum in your favor and becomes like an invisible aura that surrounds you, drawing people towards you and propelling you forward in life like a booster on a successful space shuttle launch.

I’m quite certain that there’s scientific research somewhere to prove that mojo has an inverse relationship with the following: 1. Giving a shit what others think. 2. Self doubt. 3. The need for too many hair products. 4. Sleeping alone. 5. Caring about sleeping alone. 6. Getting back together with an ex. 7. Making bad booty calls. 8. Working anywhere that requires a uniform. 9. moving in with the parents even if “just for a little while”.

Like anything of influence, too much mojo in the wrong hands can be extremely dangerous. A friend of mine, while in the midst of an over-sexed existential crisis, coined the phrase ‘Evil Mojo’ referring to the improper use of one’s mojo for either unreasonable personal gains or down right stupid shit. Sting as an actor is a good example of Evil Mojo as was comedian Eddie Murphy turned musician. George W. Bush reign as president is definitely an example of Evil Mojo, along with Michael Jordan’s second comeback, that Anthony Robbins guy, and the entire rank and file at Amway.

Perhaps the most tragic thing in life is to discover one’s Mojo at a time when it can no longer have an influence on the course of your life. The best cautionary example of this is thinking about back when I was in high school and how different things would have been had I the sense of perspective I now have as an adult. Chances are the virginity wouldn’t have taken so long to shake.

But again, it’s not all about sex; it’s about life. And in life, there are far too many people who never find their true calling, and for those that do, very few ever generate enough Mojomentum to really do anything about it. And that is what this blog is about, finding your calling, and maintaining the Mojomentum necessary to nurture and enjoy it.

My calling at the moment, and what will fuel the bulk of this blog, consists of the following:

After nearly six years of living abroad, I am about to move from Amsterdam back to Portland, Oregon. Although I’m proud to have missed nearly 75% of Bush’s reign of terror, reintegration with the US and reverse culture shock will certainly be high on my list of topics…bring on the strip malls!

At this time, it is still questionable whether I will have a job when I return. The answer to this question will invariably have an effect on my life and this blog. Corporate whore or corporate drop out? Time will tell.

One thing that I do know awaits me back home is my family. My two brothers both live in Portland while my parents live about five hours away in Ashland. I look forward to once again being physically present at family dinners rather than a little voice coming out of a receiver that’s being passed around the table along with the side of potatoes, “Hello? Mom, is that you? Oh, hi dad, yeah, I’m sorry you thought I was the gravy. Yes, it sounds like you all are having a great time. What’s that? Yes, I wish I was there too. Wha’d ya say? Oh me, I’m in a coffee shop right now just sort of hanging out…Yeah, the coffee’s really good here dad, reeeeaally good. I love you too dad.”

In addition to my family there are a number of other people with whom I will be reunited upon my return, none more important then my girlfriend who, after nearly five years of separation and waiting for me to grow up, will be welcoming me into her/our home and life with open, albeit skeptical, arms.

And there is the rest of the Portland/West coast crew that I’m anxious to join. I look forward to reporting on such misadventures as Shorty trips with Chum and Mayday, long rides and runs with the Doc, ‘I miss Europe’ sessions with the O’Connors, and wrestling with the Halfman brothers.

And then there will be the inevitable pangs of letting go of my beloved Amsterdam/Europe and it’s perfect balance of work and play and abundance of free spirited people - Amsterdam truly is an adult Disneyland. And to those who have helped make A’dam home for the past 5-plus years - D, A, Mon, Jon, Nate, Jen, Phil, Ols, Lel - the saddest love song couldn’t capture the pain of leaving you all…but then again, Portland’s Not That Far!

No matter how this all plays out, this blog will undoubtedly be full of…er...words, and I promise to do my best to make sure those words are as interesting as possible. Because in this never ending quest for Mojomentum, there is one thing that we must all do – share. Share our dreams, our insecurities, our feelings, our ideas, our inspirations, our passions, our problems, and, most importantly, our solutions. So welcome to my blog: mi Mojo es tu Mojo.

Comment Starter:
Evil Mojo examples...

(Evil Mojo illustration by Sean O.)


Blogger Chum said...

Evil Mojo: Tom Cruise
Mojomentum: Tom Curren

Love your blog, mang. Don't worry, we'll re-integrate you into Oregon life the same way a sport fisherman releases a chinook salmon after pulling it from the river. You know, drop it back in and push it back and forth until it gets some H2O flowing through the gills again... or something like that.

10:52 PM  
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